Therapy for Women in Augusta, GA
You started people-pleasing to keep the peace, not realizing taking care of everyone else would become so automatic you'd forget how to take care of yourself.
When someone asks you what you want for dinner, do you respond with āI donāt know, what do you want?ā and then agree with whatever they suggest?
When someone tells you something bad happened to them, do you immediately say āIām sorryā even though you had nothing to do with what happened?
Do you hate conflict so much that you lose sleep worrying you said the wrong thing and someone might be secretly mad at you and hasnāt told you yet?
You were always the āgood girlā who did everything that was expected of her. You people-pleased so hard that the part of you that actually has needs went silent.
You struggle to tell anyone no and actually mean it. You might say no at first, but then guilt hits so hard that you cave and do what they asked anyway.
When someone asks what you want to do, you say youāre ājust chillā, you āgo with the flowā, or youāre āeasy-goingā so you donāt risk choosing the wrong thing and upsetting them.
It feels selfish to get something just for yourself, so if you want a treat while youāre at The Augusta Market on a Saturday, you buy one for everyone else in the house too so you donāt feel guilty.
Youāre always on edge worrying that someone is mad at you. One short text message response from them and youāre spiraling, trying to figure out what you did wrong.
If people-pleasing has caused you to ignore your own needs, Therapy for Women, in Augusta and the surrounding CSRA, can teach you how to show up for yourself while still showing up for others.
People-pleasing is a survival strategy (literally).
If you grew up in a household that was chaotic or unpredictable, it might have felt safer to keep quiet, stay out of the way, and basically make yourself invisible.
You may have been rewarded with praise or positive attention for getting good grades at Westminister Schools of Augusta, for keeping your room clean, and following the house rules.
If you didnāt meet these expectations, you might have been harshly disciplined or ignored, so your survival brain took over and said āIām going to always do the right thing so that I never get in trouble.ā
People-pleasing doesnāt mean there is anything wrong with you, it means that your nervous system has gotten stuck in survival mode.
When your nervous system feels unsafe, it reacts. If youāre a woman who people-pleases, your nervous system is most likely reacting with the fawn response (instead of fight-or-flight). Fawning means you go out of your way to appease others and avoid conflict at all costs.
Fawning is a response from the nervous system, not a personality trait.
Fawning doesnāt just show up in your relationships, it also shows up as perfectionism.
If at some point avoiding mistakes protected you from criticism or conflict, your brain learned ābeing perfect keeps me safe, loved, and accepted.ā So now, you strive for perfection and beat yourself up for not meeting your own standards (even though part of you knows theyāre not realistic).
Counseling for Women in West Augusta can help you shift out of people-pleasing and perfectionism so you can handle someone being mad or making a mistake without falling apart on the inside and without questioning your worth.
Therapy for Women can teach you how to trust yourself again.
Working with a Womenās Therapist gives you a space to explore the deeper reasons you became stuck in people-pleasing and perfectionism. It helps you recognize and shift the patterns that have kept you in that cycle for too long.
In our work together, youāll have the chance to reconnect with the parts of you that you rejected, abandoned, or judged in order to survive. When those parts return and are truly witnessed by you, they often bring something with them: clarity. Clarity about who you are, what you want, and what you need.
Women often leave counseling feeling more connected to themselves and their desires. They begin to create an internal sense of safety that allows them to set boundaries without the surge of guilt or lump in their throat. Life starts to feel more balanced and they realize they are capable of caring for others while also prioritizing themselves.
Most importantly, they learn how to take up space in their own lives. When you feel safe enough to take up space, you might have more energy to take in a show at the Miller Theater on Broad Street or take a walk on the Augusta Canal Trail.
What to Expect in Therapy Sessions
Before our initial session, youāll be asked to complete new client paperwork through my online portal. This paperwork covers your history, reason for seeking therapy, and your goals for working with a therapist for women.
When we meet for the first time, my focus is to get to know you as a person and understand how people-pleasing and perfectionism show up in your life. Together, weāll create a treatment plan that will focus on your goals.
Treatment for women often involves deep inner work and self-exploration. We want to get to know and hold space for every part of you. Each part of you is valuable. Even the parts you fear are unlovable. They all belong. Healing happens when you welcome all parts of you and approach them with compassion.
My Treatment Approaches
I am a holistic and non-religious therapist that treats women by integrating a mind-body-spirit approach with evidence based practices, including:
Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps us rediscover the parts of you that learned that people-pleasing and perfectionism would keep you safe. We give these parts space to tell their stories so they (and you) can heal.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps you tell the difference between your thoughts and the thoughts of your inner critic (because letās be real she is MEAN!)
Body-Based Awareness helps you connect to how people-pleasing and perfectionism show up in your body.
Polyvagal Theory (PVT) helps you understand the fawn response that comes with people-pleasing and helps you create an internal sense of safety.
Reiki Energy Healing (optional) is an energetic approach that helps you create alignment in your own energy field so that you know what you really want. Reiki can be offered as a standalone service, but can also be integrated into an in-person counseling for women session at my office not far from the Augusta Mall.
Any combination of these approaches can help you remember that you are worthy of your own love and attention.
When youāre used to being the one worrying about everyone else, you might have some questions before beginning therapy for women.
1. What if I silence my inner critic and then stop caring about other peopleās feelings?
Many women starting treatment share this concern. Of course you don't want to lose the part of you that makes you compassionate and caring towards others. Silencing your inner critic isn't our goal. Instead we want to get to know what that part of you needs to feel safe, so that you can still show up for others without abandoning yourself.
2. What if I start sticking up for myself and everyone gets mad or leaves me?
If you've spent your life people-pleasing, you might worry that if you start speaking up and asking for what you need, that others will think you're "too much" and leave. When you begin taking up space and honoring your own needs, relationships can shift, but that doesnāt guarantee that theyāll end. No matter what happens in your relationships (or doesnāt happen), therapy can give you skills to communicate your needs clearly and to care for yourself if others arenāt able to.
3. What if I donāt know what I want or who I am, can therapy still help?
Absolutely. Many women in the Augusta area start counseling not knowing who they are or what they want. You donāt have to have it (or yourself) all figured out yet. Therapy gives you space to explore who you are beyond the expectations of others and to figure out what you need to live a life that feels meaningful to you.
Healing can happen when you become the person who would have fiercely protected your younger self.
If youāre a woman ready to explore treatment for people-pleasing and perfectionism, you can Schedule a Session here.
If you have questions or want to book a 15-minute complementary phone consultation, you can use my Contact Form.
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