What if Anxiety Isn’t Your Enemy?

As a therapist, I work with a lot of clients that are struggling with anxiety. Most of them have been experiencing it for as long as they remember and they have trouble imagining what life would even look like without constant anxiety. 

Many of them get frustrated by their anxiety (understandably) and say things like:

• “I just want my brain to turn off.”

• “I want my anxiety to GO AWAY!”

• “I feel like I’m going crazy.”

Anxiety is exhausting, there’s no question. But what if anxiety isn’t actually your enemy?

What if anxiety is a sign that some part of you is in desperate need of your own attention? 

Anxiety usually shows up when we are disconnected from ourselves in some way. Consciously, you may know that there is nothing to feel anxious about, so when anxiety shows up, you dismiss it, you push it away, you suppress it.

When you push your anxiety away, you are also pushing that part of you away, and that anxious part feels it.

Your anxious part, can feel your rejection. It knows you don’t like it and it knows you don’t want it.

Anxiety is a sign that you need to listen to yourself.

What’s going on in your inner world right now? What parts of you are in need of your own attention? 

When we start getting curious and listening to the anxious part, we learn things about ourselves. We learn what matters, we learn what scares us, and we learn what we need to feel safe.

Sometimes there are parts of us that really just need to be heard, seen, and witnessed. When they feel seen by the real you, they calm because they realize they’re not alone. When that part knows it’s not alone, the intensity of your anxiety also goes down.

Anxiety is just feedback.

If you view anxiety from a neutral lens, it’s just data about what’s going on in your inner world. It doesn’t have to be labeled as bad or good, it’s just information.

When we view anxiety as data, it’s easier to start getting curious about it. We can start to wonder what’s causing it or where it’s coming from, instead of just being mad that it’s there and trying to shove it away.

That curiosity allows you to start creating separation between you and your anxiety. When you have more separation, you can actually observe what’s going on, rather than being consumed by it. You can be with your anxiety, instead of in it, which is an important distinction. 

Control doesn’t come from fighting anxiety. 

Anxiety can make you feel like you’re not in control of yourself or your emotions, which is an uncomfortable feeling for most people.

As humans, we don’t like feeling out of control, because our survival brain still associates feeling out of control, with being unsafe. As survival beings, we always want to feel safe.

Realistically, there will always be external things, that you cannot control, but you do have control over what happens in your inner world.

Learning to listen to what’s going on inside of you, can help you regain a sense of control of yourself. You may not always understand what’s happening on the inside, but just the act of you listening to yourself, reduces the feeling of helplessness, increases your sense of control, and makes you feel empowered again.  

How Therapy Can Help Anxiety.

Working with an anxiety therapist, can help you shift your perspective on anxiety. It can help you learn how to get curious, observe your anxious parts, and give them what they need to feel better. If you have any questions about treatment for anxiety or would like to book a session with me, please use the Contact Me button below.