Anxious About Being Anxious?
You have a meeting with your boss next week. Right now, you feel prepared and confident, but part of you is still worried that you might get visibly anxious during the meeting and start to trip over your words.
Your kid has an upcoming band concert. You’re already nervous because the last time you went to their concert, it was hot, crowded, and you ended up having a panic attack.
You’re thinking about a 10 hour drive you have to make for a vacation. You’re looking forward to the vacation, but you’re worried that the drive will make you so stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious that it will ruin the trip.
What is Pre-Anxiety?
Anticipatory anxiety or pre-anxiety is the anxiety that happens BEFORE an event or situation actually occurs.
It can show up as a worry that you’ll get anxious when the situation happens. Thoughts can sound like:
“what if I get anxious when X happens?”
“I’m worried that I’ll get anxious when X happens.”
“I’m dreading X because I’m worried I’ll have a panic attack.”
Anticipatory anxiety can lead to ruminating thoughts and mental spirals.
Anticipatory anxiety is still anxiety.
Anticipatory anxiety can show up in your body just like regular anxiety. It can cause your heart to race, your palms to sweat, and you to feel nauseous.
It can make it hard to breath, cause stress, and fill you with a sense of overwhelming dread.
How To Handle Pre-Anxiety.
When anxiety about anxiety shows up, can you get curious? Can you start to observe it?
Instead of being in the anxiety, can you be with it?
To start making this shift, you can change the language you use to describe your experience. Instead of saying “I’m anxious” say, “I notice that anxiety is coming up for me right now.”
When your language shifts, you start to create space between you and your anxiety. As you create space, you have more room to observe what is happening instead of getting entirely sucked into the mental loop that comes with anxiety.
Ask yourself this question when you’re anxious about being anxious.
Am I actually worried that I’ll feel anxious or am I worried that I’ll feel anxious and not be able to handle it?
For most people, the answer is the latter. They’re afraid they won’t be able to handle the feeling of anxiety, that they won’t know what to do about their anxiety, or that someone will see them being anxious.
Sometimes they can worry that if they feel anxious that they might start to cry in front of people which feels like the end of the world. If this is the case, there might be something deeper going on. That person might actually be worried about being rejected or judged rather than actually being worried about the anxiety itself. These are the things that therapy can help you tease apart about your anxiety.
The Final Question to Ask Your Anxiety.
What’s the worse that will happen if you do X and feel anxious while you’re there? Is that potential outcome objectively bad or would it just make you uncomfortable? If you end up feeling anxious, do you trust yourself to handle it?
How Counseling Can Help With Anxiety.
Anxiety Treatment can help you learn to observe what’s really happening when anxiety surfaces for you. It can help you to become more in touch with yourself so that you recognize anxiety and calm it before you end up in a full blown panic attack. If you have any questions about anxiety therapy or would like to book a session with me, please use the Contact Me button below.
